Dober večer tovariši! In my native Slovenia, this means “Good evening, comrades.” (What is this? I should not say “comrades?” Who is Natasha?) Žal mi je. As I was saying, it is great honor for me to be at this convention where my husband will be Supreme Ruler of silly men with large belly. When […]
Read more "A few carefully-chosen words from Melania Trump"At the 2016 Republican National Convention, Donald Trump steps up to the podium and says… HELLO CLEVELAND! Oh yeah! I’ve always wanted to say that. Great city here, Cleveland. Especially in July. Yeah, it’s great. Nothing compliments soul-crushing humidity like an endless buffet of deep-fried foods slathered in gravy, amidst a seemingly infinite landscape of brown […]
Read more "I Have a Dream"Here’s my letter to our Idaho reps regarding efforts to defund #PlannedParenthood. Please feel free to copy and paste this letter and send to each member of Congress. Each of the legislator’s portraits links to their contact information. Dear Sir, An inordinate amount of lies have been spread about Planned Parenthood over the years, but lately it […]
Read more "If You Really Stand With Planned Parenthood…"Good evening, my fellow Americans. Wow. Just, WOW. I’m really not sure where to begin. I know that, traditionally, this is what happens at the six-year mark for every two-term President, but – honestly – this is just fucking ridiculous. Now, at W’s six-year mark, Americans had an infinite trough of reasons to be dissatisfied with him and […]
Read more "Ladies And Gentlemen, The President Of The United States…"Good evening, my fellow Americans. For the past six years, after having been elected by you to the nation’s highest office – twice – I have tirelessly dedicated myself to lead this country. Admittedly, I have not done everything right. And while my mistakes may have been the subject of considerable debate and speculation, they have […]
Read more "And Now, A Message From The President…"
This Sh*t Writes Itself 