Selfishly, I like that football season attracts people like moths to a flame, anchored to their sofas for hours, thus clearing the trails and making for enchanting Sunday rides on my mountain bike. At the same time, I can appreciate the social aspect associated with football; friends and family coming together over food and drink, […]
Read more "Let’s Be Real About Football"I moved to Malaysia in 1999 to work for a restaurant group in Kuala Lumpur. Up to that point, I’d never left the US, never traveled much at all, and the most adventurous cuisine I’d ever tried was sushi – in Idaho. That’s not to say I wasn’t curious about the rest of the world. […]
Read more "Why I Didn’t Observe Anthony Bourdain Day"Dober večer tovariši! In my native Slovenia, this means “Good evening, comrades.” (What is this? I should not say “comrades?” Who is Natasha?) Žal mi je. As I was saying, it is great honor for me to be at this convention where my husband will be Supreme Ruler of silly men with large belly. When […]
Read more "A few carefully-chosen words from Melania Trump"BOISE, ID April 6, 2016 Travis Nelson, a 33 year old customer service representative, from Boise, Idaho, is pretty sure he can climb any wall at the Teleperformance call center. Nelson, who has never actually done any climbing, had visited the Asana climbing gym for the first time the previous day to redeem a soon-to-expire Groupon […]
Read more "Area man pretty sure “I can climb that” after first visit to climbing gym"At the 2016 Republican National Convention, Donald Trump steps up to the podium and says… HELLO CLEVELAND! Oh yeah! I’ve always wanted to say that. Great city here, Cleveland. Especially in July. Yeah, it’s great. Nothing compliments soul-crushing humidity like an endless buffet of deep-fried foods slathered in gravy, amidst a seemingly infinite landscape of brown […]
Read more "I Have a Dream"Is there a product that functions as a sort of “anti-MSG?” Something that is added to food to remove any discernible flavor? If there isn’t, how did you make a pizza that literally tasted like nothing? I know I was eating food, because I could feel it in my mouth. I’ve eaten food before, so […]
Read more "Dear HP Cafeteria:"Here’s my letter to our Idaho reps regarding efforts to defund #PlannedParenthood. Please feel free to copy and paste this letter and send to each member of Congress. Each of the legislator’s portraits links to their contact information. Dear Sir, An inordinate amount of lies have been spread about Planned Parenthood over the years, but lately it […]
Read more "If You Really Stand With Planned Parenthood…"The Holy Father, head of the Catholic church, and bane of capitalists everywhere, Pope Francis gave a speech to a joint session of congress today. By his own admission, Pope Francis’ grasp of English isn’t terribly strong. Here’s a breakdown of his speech to America’s legislature. Vice President, Mr. Speaker, and the rest of you: […]
Read more "In Summary: Pope Francis Lays a Papal Helping of Catholic Guilt on a Joint Session of Congress"I love it when gun huggers try to blame cars for being just as, or more dangerous than, guns. “What about all the people who die in car accidents, or by drunk drivers? What are you gonna do about that, huh? You gonna regulate cars too?” First of all, cars are designed and built for a […]
Read more "The Cars vs. Guns Fallacy"With the US Supreme Court’s definitive ruling making same-sex marriage legal in all fifty states, there will be some lingering confusion among straight couples about how this landmark decision affects them and their straight marriages. Here’s the list of things straight couples should be aware of: 1. Nothing has changed. You are still married and you […]
Read more "Gay Marriage, Explained"
This Sh*t Writes Itself 